Thursday, July 28, 2011

Snorting Cold Turkey

Ok - bizarre title, I know, but I read two articles today over at The Frisky and couldn't help but blog about both in one post.  It appears the US has become obsessed with Amy Winehouse and self-tanning (has anyone seen Snookie and Pat Sajak lately??) 

First and foremost, we are all well aware that Amy Winehouse has passed. She certainly outlived the death countdown that I'd bet on, but ended up dead nonetheless.  It's really tragic that someone so young and talented wasted her life away on drugs and alcohol.  Although toxicology reports are still outstanding, her family insists she was clean and had attended a doctor's appointment only the day before. According to "Amy Winehouse: Did Alcohol Withdrawl Kill Her?" her family, well at least her father, is asserting she died from alcohol withdrawal because she quit cold turkey.  Now if you wander on over to Wikipedia you will see that alcohol withdrawal can in fact be fatal, however the symptoms are pretty noticeable so if she really had a doctor's appointment Friday then I believe her doctor should be charged with negligence.  But that's neither here nor there at this point since every news report right now is merely speculation.  We'll all know what killed her soon enough.

As for self-tanning, this fad only continues to get worse.  You can't help but notice the orange glow celebrities are sporting.  Personally, I don't find it attractive.  Would I like to have a natural bronzed complexion during the summer?  Sure, but citrus orange just ain't my thing.  I'll admit I've tried the sunless tanning foam on my burn-prone Irish skin, but the results were nothing like the oompa-loompa Snookie has turned herself into.  Self-tanning or sunless tanning, whatever you want to call it, has just gotten too extreme.  Case in point: "Ubertan: An Herbal Self-Tanner You Can Snort."  Yes folks, Ubertan really exists in the UK.  I'd like to have been a fly on the wall in the early developmental stages of this product.  "Hey Charlie check this out, I had a weird reaction the other night after dropping acid and snorting Nasalcrom for my allergies.  I think I'm glowing!  Do you think it's radioactive or can we make some money off of this??"  Hey, can't be any worse than all the other products out there with warning labels that say things like "side effects include, but are not limited to: nausea, diarrhea, cotton mouth, loss of limbs, stomach ulcers, blindness in one eye, decrease in sexual appetite, road rage, boogers the size of golf balls, kidney cramps, suicidal thoughts, CMT obsession, casual itching, redness, democratic party support, atheism, fatigue, and problems forming words."  Seriously, what will they think of next?

1 comment:

  1. I want to comment. But I don't know where to even begin.
    I'll just say, you speak the truth.


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