I am a huge fan of water rides. Rollercoasters, as much as I enjoy their thrill, without fail send me crying to the chiropractor with whiplash. So when I go to an amusement park not only am I packing my swimsuit and towel with high hopes of sticking to the water rides, a bottle of Advil makes it into the mix just in case I venture over to the dry side of the park. Yeah, I'm cool like that.
Needless to say, Tuesday's adventure to Zoom Flume had me in my glory. This park is 100% water-based entertainment. But, yes folks there is a big "butt" in this story, I met my match with the Canyon River Plunge. This ride is a straight shot down without a tube or a mat. This ride is serious; it doesn't dump you in some cushy pool where you can adjust your bathing suit with some sense of dignity. Oh no. This puppy uses your own swim suit, a continued expanse of tubing, and the centrifugal force of water to slow you down. In Lehman's terms, a painful wedgie assault like no other. Matter of fact, I believe this ride should be renamed "Major Wedgie" or "Thong Maker" to at least forewarn participants of their impending doom. Stupidly, I subjected myself to this ride twice. Apparently the super short line and the pina colada I enjoyed over lunch clouded my judgment enough to forget the results of the first time down. I can honestly say that the second time was by far the worst. My suit lodged itself so uncomfortably that I almost didn't share this story out of sheer embarrassment. I was worried that rather than running to a chiropractor, as mentioned earlier, that I'd have to make an appointment with a proctologist. I know it sounds dramatic,
butt but it's true.
Do you have an embarrassing amusement park story? Are there any rides that you avoid based on prior outcomes? I know I can't be the only one...