Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Hearing Voices

My three thirty p.m. inner monologue:

“Oh my gawwwd I’m starving!!  I wonder what’s in the vending machine…”
“No, you don’t need anything.  You’ve got an hour until you head home.”
“Mmmm… can’t wait to go home.  What’s for dinner?  I’m hungry.”
 “Just drink some more water, you’ll be fine.”
“Ugggh, water.  So not as appetizing as a bag of chips right about now.”
“But now I have a headache.  Maybe I should go get something…”
<<insert stomach grumble here>>
“It has been proven that dehydration can simulate hunger pains, have more water.”
“But I only had a salad today for lunch...”
“OMG – will you shut up already, you have no self control!”

Folks I kid you not, this is seriously what runs through my head every day at this time.   Normally I try to save the granola bar I pack with lunch for this very occasion, however, most days what ends up happening is that eat that granola bar at ten o’clock which leaves me snackless in the afternoon!  It’s a travesty and I think I’m going to blame it on my childhood.  As a child you got home from school and what did you do?  Had a snack before starting homework didn’t ya?  And you just so happened to get home around three thirty-ish, right?  Yep.  It’s true.  I have been conditioned like Pavlov’s dog to have a snack this time every day whether my fat arms need it or not.  I’ve even got my own body working against me.  Just like a crack addict starts to sweat and crave a fix, my body needs that little spike in my blood sugar at three thirty sharp. 

So what’s a girl to do?  Sweat it out and pack two granola bars tomorrow.  I can't help it.  This fat kid is hungry!!!

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